"Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. If we cultivate enough awareness about shame to name it and speak to it, we’ve basically cut it off at the knees. Shame hates having words wrapped around it. If we speak shame, it begins to wither.”

— Brené Brown


I remember reading Brené Brown’s book The Power of Vulnerability and being awe-struck at what I learned and how much it comforted me.


Brené has this incredible way of speaking and writing that really helped me realise and reinforce the need for us, as humans to allow ourselves to be seen, to bring vulnerability into view, and to speak of our shame so that it loses its power.


Before reading her book, this idea of speaking my shame aloud — of sharing it with a trusted, compassionate, and empathetic other, of shining light onto the shame so it could not thrive — was always a difficult one for me, but her words helped it make sense in a way that had never really clicked before.


Of course, this feeling that churns my stomach and contorts my body into the smallest, most closed version of myself can only thrive if I let it sit there in the dark, festering away, like mould grows in the damp corners of a lightless space.


Shame needs to be seen.


Her writing helped me realise that my reluctance to show myself in the ways my deepest being and soul crave can feed that shame. Down, down, deeper and darker, the shame grips its claws around my being as I create story after story to reinforce the idea that I am not worthy of being seen. That I do not deserve to feel seen.


It becomes harder and harder to show myself, even if I feel a deep longing and a craving for it.


Fear of being misunderstood.

Fear of being ridiculed and judged as unworthy to walk the path I do.

Fear of becoming a laughing stock, are all things which would pass through my mind on a regular basis. 


Deeper, deeper down, ancestral fear rises in my bones. Underneath all the fear has been shame — a sense of unworthiness. "I am wrong for being who I am, and if I risk showing such deep and vulnerable parts of myself, I risk this story being reinforced". Or so I told myself.


So I wrote and wrote and wrote.


I thought I'd be writing a small blog to share alongside these photographs, but instead, my perfectionism and desire to explain every part of the process in a way it could be understood resulted in me writing a 10,000 (so far) word piece...


I'm not going to share that piece right now because it needs work, a lot of work.


But what I have realised is that this photoshoot journey for me was a journey into embedding in myself the knowing that all the experiences which reinforced the idea I was not worthy of being seen were not confirmation of that story — and that I am worthy, and it is safe to show myself, and for me to feel that I am working from a place of true integrity I need to be open to sharing myself just as my clients show themselves to me, and often the wider world. 


What I did not realise was that this whole process with my photoshoot journey was going to be the catalyst that allowed me to deep dive into becoming aware of, understanding and processing the shame I have held for simply being me — with so many different and nuanced layers appearing as mysteries I could not understand at first, and then unfolding with clarity as time passed.


The journey continues, because the journey continues. Still now I am unravelling and untying layers of this journey, because I chose to work on something which was a pivotal arc in my overall healing journey, and that means the work of the photoshoot journey doesn't end at the photoshoot.


And you know what... it has been a year since I did this photoshoot.

A whole year, and I am only just now sharing the images from it.


Partly due to the shame I have felt surrounding it — this intense, dense black fog that’s whispered to my heart...


"Who are you to say you deserve to be seen? You know that’s not safe, you know you're not worthy of that." "They will judge you, they will ridecule you". 


It's no coincidence that this work — to facilitate journeys for individuals to step into their power and show themselves in such vulnerable and authentic ways chose me. 


It's no coincidence that the Sacred Human Nature work is all about Being Seen.


There is so very much I want to share about this photoshoot journey — everything I have learned, all the layers and the weaving of my processes and healing — but what I’m realising now, more than ever, is that it’s important for me to share some of the images, because to share to true depth of the journey up to this point, I really would have to write a book.


I wanted the writing to be perfect to go alongside them, to tell my story, to share how being seen has always been such a difficult thing for me. I wanted to demonstrate the depth of process possible on these journeys. 

I wanted to shine a light into all the dark crevices of my being where drops of viscous shame pooled within me...


Because I couldn't do it just like that I kept putting it off, shame feeding perfectionism and the impossibility of flawlessness triggering a different layer of shame. A spiral I could stay in indefinitely with every piece of writing I ever consider sharing.


And I will share my longer writing, probably as a series of pieces... And one day as a book.


But for now, this piece of writing here is more important — this acknowledgement that I have held so much shame in my being, for simply being me. This recognition of my avoidance to share being part of the journey itself. That parts of me have cowered in the darkness of my subconscious, praying I will not be in the spotlight... And then on top of that has mounted another layer of shame for having not stepped into the spotlight, for not sharing the images, for asking my clients to do what I have clearly found very difficult to do. 


"You're wrong.

You're not worthy.

You can't even show yourself, and you ask others to."

The embodied photoshoot journey I decided to take myself on was into the Warrior Archetype, and it was all about being seen.


The Warrior is deeply courageous; she holds a fierce integrity and fights for what she knows is moral and just in the world. She fights for what she believes in with every ounce of her being.


I chose to step into my Warrior Archetype to find the strength and courage to step up and show myself, to be seen and share my vulnerability to the world in the same way I ask if my clients will — specifically so that I could step into my work with more integrity than before.


...For it was deeply bothering me that in one breath I encourage others to step in front of me and share their stories, and then I hide myself, my story and also the beautiful work we create.


There is so much to this journey I went on, and even now, a whole year later, I am still understanding and unpacking it all.


A minuscule fraction is shared here — not in an attempt to hide, but because I realised sharing everything all in one go was not possible.


I intend to talk more about the journey, the process and practices, the photoshoot, the resistance, feelings and experiences that unfolded. 


But for now, I shine this light upon the simple fact that I felt — and parts of me sometimes still do feel — a deep and clenching shame around my identity and the way I am in the world, both past and present.


This is me, speaking my shame and wrapping my words around it like the snake wraps her eggs. With love, care, compassion, and nurture, this shame may transform into worthiness.


I am worthy of being seen.

You are worthy of being seen.

We are all worthy of being seen. 


I will take my shame in my hands and I cradle it like an innocent child until it melts into worthiness.


I raise my head high and nurture pride in myself and who I am. I speak sweet words to the parts of me who feel shame. I shine a light upon shame, this gripping, grasping, dark and desperate entity that wants me to stay hidden. And when I feel that tug to stay hidden, I will ask myself, is this feeling one that arises from shame, or from healthy boundaries and protection.

This journey has taught me the depth at which I have struggled to show myself and my work in a wider way and opened awareness to the wounds where my sense of worthiness has been eroded. I did not know I was gasped tight by this shame. I knew I struggled to be seen and to share my voice and my deepest passions, but I did not realize that what underlined those struggles for me was shame... And from what I have learned, shame cannot be healed if it is not known.


When I began to offer the Sacred Human Nature work I was blind to just how much I was holding that prevented me from feeling able to share myself in the way I ask others to share with me. I didn't know I was holding such a huge wound here and I stepped into offering this work without really knowing what it was or how to do it, or all the things it has the potential to trigger throughout a process, and I am still learning every step of the way. 


I have also learned that my reluctance to share the incredible work created more widely has been linked to the shame in myself around my own identity, and my own creativity [another post coming on that]. For this work is not something random, I didn't just sit down and wonder what I could do. It is born of soul calling and a deep and unwavering link to who I am and what I believe at my core. So when I put this work into the world, I put myself into the world. This triggers not only a fear of ridicule and rejection of the work itself, but of the deepest parts of my own being and unhealed wounds.


But one thing I know is that without doing this photoshoot and going on this journey around being seen myself, I would not have the deep reverence and unending appreciation for just how much it takes to step in front of my camera and chose to allow your images and story to be shared publicly.


And so, this journey was a weaving of my own personal healing journey with my work because they really are one and the same, and it continues to inform what I offer as well as unfold in my spiritual life and being — as layer after layer of healing.

A sincere thank you to my friend and talented photographer Ash for agreeing to capture the unfolding of this dance journey for me, for being willing to hold the space with his camera and presence without attempting to direct the natural unfolding of my expression and embodiment.

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